The Top 3 Red Flags to Consider when Deciding on an Intentional Community

Before you dive in headfirst to a new conscious coliving experience, we wanted to flag (sorry, couldn’t resist) to you the top 3 red flags we’d recommend keeping an eye out for in unconscious coliving communities.

🚩 Red flag #1: A dominant charismatic leader and strict rules

Whilst rules and regulations are needed in all well functioning coliving places, these should be in place to serve the community, not only those in power.

Being mindful of how decisions are made, what structures are (or aren’t in place) and if there is one elevated ‘leader’ that all others succumb to is a great way to avoid being sucked in. These traits will often go hand in hand with an expectation for conformity and obedience to a set of predefined beliefs, and a need for you to relinquish your wider networks and connections.

Remember, in the beginning these ‘leaders’ are often very charming, so don’t discount any gut feelings or niggles in the early stages, because appearances can be deceiving. And once you’re in, it’s harder to get out 👀.

🚩 Red flag #2: An unclear or unrealistic expectation for setting up the community

We get it, some of us are dreamers, some are doers and some sit somewhere in between. But with well functioning intentional communities, the expectations and reasons for being set up need to be grounded in practical ways.

And yet, some communities are set up to just try and escape. We’ve all toyed with escapism at points, and we’ve hopefully all realized how much of a futile attempt this is to actually manage the problem at hand.

So what is the problem the community is working to solve? What is its overall aim and intention? Knowing it's ‘why’, is a great way to gain more understanding into whether the community is working to provide a solution to a problem or if it is simply there to keep people living in a bubble. And if it’s the latter, sooner or later the bubble will burst.

🚩 Red flag #3: Asking for lots of financial, time or energy investment with no clear reasons why

As you’ve probably realized, contribution is key to well functioning communities. But what exactly should you be contributing? Well, any community that asks for an unreasonable investment of time, money or energy without being able to clearly define why, is one to avoid. Conscious coliving should ultimately be an experience of expansion, not one that restricts or depletes.

This also goes for an investment in activities that aren’t in alignment with your values. There shouldn’t be any expectation to contribute, conform or behave in ways that feel like they are taking advantage or are morally off-centre.

Living in a community, may often be confronting and you will likely have to do tasks you don’t want to do like cleaning the toilet, but what we are talking about here are the expectations that impact your boundaries in unhealthy ways.

So make sure you know what you are getting yourself into in advance, and you understand the investments required related to time, money and energy.

Finally remember, if a community seems too good to be true trust your instincts. In our experience the people, places and things that seem too good to be true, usually are.

If you’re interested in learning more about the red flags to avoid in conscious coliving, along with a whole wealth of other information, we invite you to sign up for our FREE Conscious Coliving email course

If you enjoyed this blog post, here are a few others you might enjoy as well:

Explore Conscious Coliving Further:

If you are curious about conscious coliving and want to implement it into your life, our free email courses are a great place to begin. Find out more here.